Hundreds of college athletes were asked to think back: "What is your worst memory from playing youth and high school sports?"

Their overwhelming response: "The ride home from games with my parents."

The informal survey lasted three decades, initiated by two former longtime coaches who over time became staunch advocates for the player, for the adolescent, for the child. Bruce E. Brown and Rob Miller of Proactive Coaching LLC are devoted to helping adults avoid becoming a nightmare sports parent, speaking at colleges, high schools and youth leagues to more than a million athletes, coaches and parents in the last 12 years.

Those same college athletes were asked what their parents said that made them feel great, that amplified their joy during and after a ballgame.

Their overwhelming response: "I love to watch you play."

There it is, from the mouths of babes who grew up to become college and professional athletes. Whether your child is just beginning T-ball or is a travel-team soccer all-star or survived the cuts for the high school varsity, parents take heed.

The vast majority of dads and moms that make rides home from games miserable for their children do so inadvertently. They aren't stereotypical horrendous sports parents, the ones who scream at referees, loudly second-guess coaches or berate their children. They are well-intentioned folks who can't help but initiate conversation about the contest before the sweat has dried on their child's uniform.

In the moments after a game, win or lose, kids desire distance. They make a rapid transition from athlete back to child. And they'd prefer if parents transitioned from spectator ' or in many instances from coach ' back to mom and dad. ASAP.

Brown, a high school and youth coach near Seattle for more than 30 years, says his research shows young athletes especially enjoy having their grandparents watch them perform.

"Overall, grandparents are more content than parents to simply enjoy watching the child participate," he says. "Kids recognize that."

A grandparent is more likely to offer a smile and a hug, say "I love watching you play," and leave it at that.

Meanwhile a parent might blurt out

'Why did you swing at that high pitch when we talked about laying off it?"

"Stay focused even when you are on the bench.'

"You didn't hustle back to your position on defense.'

"You would have won if the ref would have called that obvious foul.'

"Your coach didn't have the best team on the field when it mattered most.'

And on and on.

Sure, an element of truth might be evident in the remarks. But the young athlete doesn't want to hear it immediately after the game. Not from a parent. Comments that undermine teammates, the coach or even officials run counter to everything the young player is taught. And instructional feedback was likely already mentioned by the coach.

"Let your child bring the game to you if they want to,' Brown says.

Brown and Miller, a longtime coach and college administrator, don't consider themselves experts, but instead use their platform to convey to parents what three generations of young athletes have told them.

"Everything we teach came from me asking players questions," Brown says. "When you have a trusting relationship with kids, you get honest answers. When you listen to young people speak from their heart, they offer a perspective that really resonates.'

So what's the takeaway for parents?

"Sports is one of few places in a child's life where a parent can say, 'This is your thing,' ' Miller says. "Athletics is one of the best ways for young people to take risks and deal with failure because the consequences aren't fatal, they aren't permanent. We're talking about a game. So they usually don't want or need a parent to rescue them when something goes wrong.

"Once you as a parent are assured the team is a safe environment, release your child to the coach and to the game. That way all successes are theirs, all failures are theirs."

And discussion on the ride home can be about a song on the radio or where to stop for a bite to eat. By the time you pull into the driveway, the relationship ought to have transformed from keenly interested spectator and athlete back to parent and child:

"We loved watching you play. ' Now, how about that homework?"

FIVE SIGNS OF A NIGHTMARE SPORTS PARENT

Nearly 75 percent of kids who play organized sports quit by age 13. Some find that their skill level hits a plateau and the game is no longer fun. Others simply discover other interests. But too many promising young athletes turn away from sports because their parents become insufferable.

Even professional athletes can behave inappropriately when it comes to their children. David Beckham was recently ejected from a youth soccer field for questioning an official. New Orleans radio host Bobby Hebert, a former NFL quarterback, publicly dressed down LSU football coach Les Miles after Alabama defeated LSU in the BCS title game last month. Hebert was hardly unbiased: His son had recently lost his starting position at LSU.

Mom or dad, so loving and rational at home, can transform into an ogre at a game. A lot of kids internally reach the conclusion that if they quit the sport, maybe they'll get their dad or mom back.

As a sports parent, this is what you don't want to become. This is what you want to avoid:

FastSports Photography

• Overemphasizing sports at the expense of sportsmanship: The best athletes keep their emotions in check and perform at an even keel, win or lose. Parents demonstrative in showing displeasure during a contest are sending the wrong message. Encouragement is crucial -- especially when things aren't going well on the field.
  
  
• Having different goals than your child: Brown and Miller suggest jotting down a list of what you want for your child during their sport season. Your son or daughter can do the same. Vastly different lists are a red flag. Kids generally want to have fun, enjoy time with their friends, improve their skills and win. Parents who write down 'getting a scholarship' or 'making the All-Star team' probably need to adjust their goals. 'Athletes say their parents believe their role on the team is larger than what the athlete knows it to be,' Miller says.
  
   
• Treating your child differently after a loss than a win: Almost all parents love their children the same regardless of the outcome of a game. Yet often their behavior conveys something else. "Many young athletes indicate that conversations with their parents after a game somehow make them feel as if their value as a person was tied to playing time or winning,' Brown says.
  
  
• Undermining the coach: Young athletes need a single instructional voice during games. That voice has to be the coach. Kids who listen to their parents yelling instruction from the stands or even glancing at their parents for approval from the field are distracted and can't perform at a peak level. Second-guessing the coach on the ride home is just as insidious.
  
  
• Living your own athletic dream through your child: A sure sign is the parent taking credit when the child has done well. 'We worked on that shot for weeks in the driveway,' or 'You did it just like I showed you' Another symptom is when the outcome of a game means more to a parent than to the child. If you as a parent are still depressed by a loss when the child is already off playing with friends, remind yourself that it's not your career and you have zero control over the outcome.

 FIVE SIGNS OF AN IDEAL SPORTS PARENT

Let's hear it for the parents who do it right. In many respects, Brown and Miller say, it's easier to be an ideal sports parent than a nightmare. 'It takes less effort,' Miller says. 'Sit back and enjoy.' Here's what to do:

FastSports Photography

• Cheer everybody on the team, not just your child: Parents should attend as many games as possible and be supportive, yet allow young athletes to find their own solutions. Don't feel the need to come to their rescue at every crisis. Continue to make positive comments even when the team is struggling.
  
  
• Model appropriate behavior: Contrary to the old saying, children do as you do, not as you say. When a parent projects poise, control and confidence, the young athlete is likely to do the same. And when a parent doesn't dwell on a tough loss, the young athlete will be enormously appreciative.
  
  
• Know what is suitable to discuss with the coach: The mental and physical treatment of your child is absolutely appropriate. So is seeking advice on ways to help your child improve. And if you are concerned about your child's behavior in the team setting, bring that up with the coach. Taboo topics: Playing time, team strategy, and discussing team members other than your child.
  
  
• Know your role: Everyone at a game is either a player, a coach, an official or a spectator. 'It's wise to choose only one of those roles at a time,' Brown says. 'Some adults have the false impression that by being in a crowd, they become anonymous. People behaving poorly cannot hide.' Here's a clue: If your child seems embarrassed by you, clean up your act.
  
  
• Be a good listener and a great encourager: When your child is ready to talk about a game or has a question about the sport, be all ears. Then provide answers while being mindful of avoiding becoming a nightmare sports parent. Above all, be positive. Be your child's biggest fan. "Good athletes learn better when they seek their own answers," Brown says.

And, of course, don't be sparing with those magic words: "I love watching you play."

Source: The Post Game

The science of hitting

Ask a senior on the Bridgewater-Raynham Regional girls' softball team the last time the Trojans went through a practice session without using a batting tee.

''Never,'' is the consistent response.

FastSports Photography

Every day, the tees and nets are out on the field. The necks of the tees are held together with dirty white and blue tape, evidence that they have gotten their fair share of use over the years. One player brings over a bucket of balls, another adjusts two of the five tees to different heights, the middle tee remaining about six inches taller than an inside tee.

In one particular drill during a recent practice, senior cocaptain Audrey Dolloff swung through the ball on the middle tee and in the process knocked over balls placed on two of the tees.

After fellow captain Rachel McCall placed a new ball on each tee, Dolloff slowed her swing up until contact with the middle ball. She slowly brought the head of the bat back to her shoulder, and with a clean swing, sent the middle ball into the net, leaving the inside ball on the tee.

'It makes you swing level and through the ball,'' said sophomore shortstop Madi Shaw. 'It makes you focus more because if you hit the other tee, something is wrong with your swing.''

Bridgewater-Raynham is a team that prides itself on its ability to hit.

In the first three games of the season, the Trojans registered two mercy-rule wins and belted eight home runs, all of which cleared the fence.

Earlier in his 15-year tenure, Mike Corrozza admits, the long ball and fine-tuning batting techniques weren't always the primary focus.

'Years ago we played a lot of small ball,'' Corrozza said. 'I remember going into a playoff game against one of the top-ranked teams in the state with a really great pitcher, and we beat them. They didn't lose a game all year, but we beat them because I had 1 through 8 in the lineup bunt.''

His coaching style really began to evolve eight years ago, when he was one of the first coaches in the country to attend the National Fastpitch Coaches College. At his first session, he remembers, he was the only high school coach in attendance.

'To be a good teacher, you have to be a good student,'' he said.

Since then, Corrozza has been all over the country attending NFCA events and conventions, interacting with some of the best softball minds around.

Over time he came to realize that the 'rotational swing' technique, which employs the power generated by a player's hips and shoulders, was the focus of coaches from Division 1 colleges up through the US national team.

'I tell the girls, if you bunt and put the ball down 3 feet, you can be 1 for 1,'' Corrozza said, 'or you can hit it 190 feet off the fence and still be 1 for 1.''

Corrozza said that early on, it was difficult trying to relay his vision, but he has slowly learned how to infuse the rotation without disrupting a player's natural swing.

FastSports Photography

The change in philosophy has been successful the last couple of seasons, but this spring Bridgewater-Raynham may have its most potent attack yet. Corrozza credits the Trojans' dedication to every aspect of the game, not just the swing.

'Usually we start off practice with a big circle in the infield and coach goes around to each person and makes sure they're using the right technique,'' McCall said. 'That each person is in slot, that you're at the right angle, that you're extending your arms the right way, while we all do imaginary swings.''

Shaw and freshman Emily Kurkul have been quick to embrace the fine-tuning. In a 14-0 win over Durfee Monday - a five-inning game because of the mercy rule - Kurkul hit her third home run in three games, while Shaw hit two homers and drove in seven runs.

'Madi and Emily's hitting have been very important,'' said Dolloff, who pitched her first varsity no-hitter in the Durfee game. 'Their hits get the offense going in a good direction. They have been working hard at practice, and its transferred into games.''

Though Shaw and Kurkul have provided the big numbers early for the Trojans, Corrozza is confident any player in the lineup can produce hits.

'As a coach, I feel confident because I know what these girls can do offensively, and put in the right situation, pretty much all of them could perform at any given time,'' Corrozza said. 'I think in the three games we've played, we've had only four strikeouts.''

Though he has faith in his team, the Trojans will continue to pull out the batting tee at every practice.

'My premise is to be a good hitter, you have to have a good swing,'' he said.

Source: Boston.com

---

The joy of softball coaching

It was 3:10 p.m. last Tuesday when Ron Savastio began to lean against the Bishop Shanahan fence - the giveaway that the fun-loving 79-year-old coach might turn serious, according to catcher Claudia Boggi.

FastSports Photography

Savastio chewed and spit out a handful of sunflower seeds. He popped a piece of gum into his mouth and began chewing some more. Practice was supposed to start at 3:15, but only six girls from the undefeated Eagles had arrived, chatting and giggling.

Wearing a white "Eagles Softball" shirt tucked into khaki pants, Savastio already had carried two buckets of balls to the empty dirt field and walked the 500-some feet to the outfield bleachers and back to check on the junior varsity team.

"Where is everybody?" he wondered.

"I don't know," one of the girls answered. "We were helping somebody get asked to prom."

As a hard-nosed hardball coach for more than 30 years, Savastio used to scream and holler until umpires tossed him out of games. Now, the former building inspector and major-league scout has found his calling coaching a group of teenage girls in a game he barely knew 11 years ago, when he joined the Shanahan staff as an assistant.

"I wish I could've done this 50 years ago," said Savastio, who took over as coach in 2007.

Shortly after he arrived at Shanahan, the South Philadelphia native learned he had diabetes. Three things helped him change his lifestyle: eating more healthfully, drinking less, and coaching softball.

"I have 10 times the energy that I had before. It's amazing," he said.

The coach they call "Pops" started practice Tuesday in Downingtown by hitting three to five ground balls to each of his eight infielders, depending on how many begged, "Can I get another?" after weak tappers or fielding errors.

Then he hit three more rounds for plays at first, second, and home. As always, he used his black Louisville slugger bat, half covered in green tape, because the girls think it's lucky.

For 45 minutes, the softball field became a comedy show. The running monologue came from the old man at home plate - "Bend down! Little shrimp like you!" "Get out of the road!" "Who's at two? Jeez!" - and the high-pitched laugh track echoed from the infielders.

"They were so giddy last week. I said to them, 'Sitting up there [on the hill] and watching you girls, I'd wonder how you ever won a ball game,' " Savastio said.

The Eagles are 11-0, having allowed just seven total runs. Last season, they went 16-0 and won the school's first-ever Ches-Mont League title.

Source: Philly.com

---

Conn. softball catcher was tired of run down facilities, so she built new ones herself

When the time came for Tori Lussier to plan and complete a senior project, the softball star knew what she needed to do: Improve the team's field and dugouts. Or, essentially give them a field and dugout to after years of playing on what was essentially a large grass field with a backstop and fencing.

The results, as documented by the New London Day, are pretty inspiring. Over the course of a summer, the Lebanon (Conn.) Lyman Memorial High senior planned and built two near-professional grade dugouts. She improved the field surface. And to pull it all off, the teen raised $35,000 in contributions and organized 25 different volunteers to help build the improved dugouts and completely resurface the field.

FastSports Photography

Lest anyone think all Lussier did was organize the event, there's this important detail to consider: Lussier mixed cement for the dugout construction herself, working in the hot August sun with her father to help build the permanent structures, which come complete with hooks for player equipment built into the solid concrete walls.

"I had the idea," Lussier told The Day. "I brought it up with [Lyman athletic director Scott Elliot]. I had to ask sponsors, get donations from companies. My dad's actually a mason. He supported me really well. Me and my dad were up here every day for hours and hours. I got to pour concrete, a lot of labor stuff. I left my hand print in some cement.

"I liked coming up here every day. ... Me and my dad are pretty close. I used to work with him on side jobs a lot."

That experience clearly paid off, with Lyman likely to reap the rewards of Lussier's commitment for years to come. Where the school's former field used to gather puddles of rain around third base and behind home plate, it now showcases clean, perfectly draining grass and field dirt.

The facility is a fitting site on which a two-time league all-star catcher who has helped lead her school to two league titles in her first three seasons can successfully close out a sterling career. If Lussier wins a third title in four years, the debate might be over which legacy she leaves behind is more impressive: The one on the field or the field itself.

"I didn't really appreciate how much work she did until I saw her presentation," Lyman softball coach Gary Hoyt told The Day. "She's been here for four years. She wanted to leave her mark and she has.

"It's fantastic. Not a puddle anywhere. I can't wait 'til it rains."

Source: Yahoo Sports

---

FastSports Photography

FastSports: Changes Coming!

You've seen that headline before, but this is undoubtedly the biggest change in sixteen years. Most, if not all of FastSports will be decommissioned as an online fastpitch softball resource in June or July of 2012. 

The domain has not been sold.  And more importantly it's not for sale.  (The last offer was $10,000 and I didn't take it).

I'd like to thank Tom Judson, of Burnsville.  I haven't even talked to Tom in 15 years, but he was the one I was sitting with and talking about "What would happen if we had an internet web site for softball?"  Remember, less than 5% of the people in the U.S. had access to the internet when we were having this conversation.  I decided to build it and see what happened.  Now I know what happens..Thanks Tom!  Thanks for not thinking I was crazy and giving that one push to make it start happening.

The site has had countless supporters that have provided a lot of advice to keep the site going over the years.  I greatly appreciate your support and guidance.  Most of you don't know that there was an MVP group on the FastSports Forum that helped immensely when FastSports had some problems with some policies around online discussion groups.  That group was a huge help!  Vickie Hanson, of Frost, MN was a key member and provided some much needed moderation to the FastSports Forum.  She put in a lot of time making sure that part of the site was watched over.  Thanks Vickie!

The most important people to thank are the people that seldom got on the site, except to look at the photos -- the girls that play the sport.  They were the incentive for building the site.  They've been the foundation for keeping the site running for as long as it did.  All of them, beautiful girls, with bright smiles, and a love to go out and play a game.

I'll still see some of you around the fields!  Thanks everyone!

Vince

---

Home | Tournaments Clearinghouse | Comments | Links FastSports! and all content contained within are copyrighted and not to be reprinted in any form without the written consent of the developer/owner